Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
