she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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