umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
