Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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