Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
