PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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