upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
