I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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