the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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