I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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