If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
