I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
