Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
MIDGETS
????
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
