Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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