What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
