Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i wish my penis had a tongue
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
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