i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
