That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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