Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
