sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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