im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
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