You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
