I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
