On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
high people should be assigned attendants
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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