I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
meet me or not, i'm out of control
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
