Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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