rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize