He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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