Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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