i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
