She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I've blown a few things in my day
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well most of my day revolves around power hour
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize