Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I want a musical about memes.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
