i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
