so explain again why im purple
no
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
