I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I'm really busy with my period
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