Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
