i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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