is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
