I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize