Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
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