Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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