i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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