Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
