Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
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