I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize