do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I wish you could order shots online.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
