I murdered the dance floor call the cops
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
