my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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