I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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