just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
