if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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