Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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