no, he came in my armpit
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
