We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
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since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
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I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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