as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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