the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
