We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
50% drunk capacity currently
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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