I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
