Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
