If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
