did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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