I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
