kristin has been a bad kristin
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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