my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
