I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
